Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Baby Alive Needs a Mommy Alive


So it's been a week of holiday festivities and frivolity and we've had a new addition to our family! For those of you who know me, no, you did not miss my pregnancy and no, we did not adopt another child. Rather, we've become the proud parents of a new...BABY ALIVE! I say "we" because once Santa brings your daughter a Baby Alive (BA), it does indeed take a village.

For those of you who are not familiar with this little tyke, she's reminiscent of that Sassy Susan doll of yore in size and coif. However, BA has eyes right out of some Japanese cartoon or comic--they just seem unnaturally large for what's supposed to be a natural-looking babe. I had to first get over that. Then, to my naivete, I had not kept up on all the BA hype enough to to absorb the fact that she...poops! Yes, she POOPS! Just like the original from the mid-70's. And I now know why my own mother never got me one. We're not talking about those dolls that "drink" water and then (oops!) "pee" it out neatly on the other end. We're talking poop: whatever color you feed her is whatever color (& consistency) you find on the other end.

And here's the "gotcha!" glitch for her real parents with real wallets: HER DIAPERS ARE NOT REUSABLE!!! Now, that is stated on the package--but not in anything larger than say, 12 pt type. So when you have your first trial run (no pun intended) you realize you cannot wash and re-wear. Then you realize Hasbro has only given you TWO diapers to start and BA has just sent one to a landfill. So you're hearing "Mommy! Let's feed her the peas now! Please! PLEASE!" while you're mentally processing the fact that after the peas, BA will have to starve for a while and your daughter will be despondent.

For a fleeting moment, I entertained the thought of making some washable diapers--complete with velcro tabs. I figured I'd already earned my Fed-Ex stripes from having boxes (& boxes!) of diapers shipped to my door for the twins and I was not about to repeat that, even if on a miniature scale. Fortunately for me, my daughter would rather curl up with a book or feed her starving Webkins brood--even if she only gets to do so for 30 minutes at a time. So the "Mom, can we buy Baby Alive more diapers?" whine only lasted for days 1 & 2 of her newly found motherhood. There is a higher power.

And so I feel guilty that BA is not getting enough love.

Not sure if I would've let Santa bless us with this little cherub had I been eyes-wide-open on all her needs. But then I also would not have had the harrowing life-flashing-before-me experience of hearing my daughter say, "Mommy! This means you're a grandmother!!"

1 comment:

Sue said...

Oh no...I should have warned you about that doll in advance. I had gotten one a year or so back. Best of luck!! Sue : )